On The Road With Denny D

A new cinema opened up in town. Yeah! We decided to try it out. Yippy! We already had our passes prepaid. It should have been easy, peazy, show me my seatie. Nope. We were instructed to go to the concession counter.  Okay, a little different. Obviously a sales tactic. The clerk asked for our passes. We handed them to her and told her that they included a soda and popcorn. She immediately look puzzled. Was it her first day? I think it was. Someone who looked just as confused started finger punching the POS.  We stood in line and waited and waited and waited. They were having a hard time processing our orders. I paced around trying not to get frustrated, while my brother in-law and his wife (my sister) took care of business. I gave the staff a few eye rolls and OMG's, then I looked around to distract myself. That's when I noticed I was overdressed. I didn't have slippers on. I wasn't wearing Hello Kitty Pajamas. And I didn't have a blankie. There's nothing like a ...

Today I had an appointment with my doctor. I recently had a blood test and he wanted to go over the results. Nothing serious. He just wanted a little chat. Still, I was a little nervous.   While waiting in the office it occurred to me that there is never a good time to test your blood pressure. I started to write the whole scenario on a note pad one my cell. I was chuckling inside when his assistant told me it was my turn. I could feel the pressure rise. In the examination room I worked on breathing and said om over and over again trying to calm my beating heart down. I checked my pulse and I can feel it working. Slower, slower. I was ready. You may enter.  I am very competitive. I want to get the best score I can. I can fool him. I enter the altered state known as the Zen of Den. My doctor doesn't take my BP often because it's generally pretty good. I was looking for to a quick how ya doing and see ya later experience. Then I opened my mouth.  Sometimes I can talk t...

A bird in a nest trying to hop into another nest. That was the norm in the seventies. I won't say any more. Okay maybe this.  A well kept yard says a lot about a man If a man lets his grass grow, it's not because he forgot to get gas for the mower. There's also a good chance that he's let something else grow too. If you're okay with that, all the power to you.  Maybe the front yard is nice but he thought he could skip weed whacking the base of the tree. Who's going to look that close anyway?  If for some reason this guy lets you in don't look at the back yard. If it a looks like train wreck there's probably a derailed train hiding somewhere. I have seen many homes occupied by divorce men. Nothing says you're hurt, single, lazy, a slob and not looking, like a messy front yard.  One more tip.  If both the front yard and back yard are cut and trimmed to perfection he's probably gay. This  has been a bit wordy. Thanks for stopping by. Hey! Nice yard.

I was sitting having a coffee at my favorite cafe. My note app on my cell phone was open and I was thinking about what story to write about. Sometimes you don't have to think, you just have to listen. Two tables away a couple were having a highly, overly, caffinated conversation. They apparently did realize that decaf was an option.  They didn't care if the whole cafe knew they were having marital problems. Everyone in earshot knew. How could I not; they were right next to me. There I was pretending I was doing research. I was doing research allright.  You never listen to me, she said. You ignore me. The man said nothing. Then he tried to defend himself but he knew she was right. So he took a big breath and just let her rant. Eventually she stopped. Why? Exhaustion and she needed to tingle.   She got up and said sharply, I'm going to the restroom. Announced she was going to the restroom. He was still recovering from the verbal assult. Numbed by the flury of jabs, asked he...

People walking their dog wearing pajamas. Not the dog but people. Okay, the dog is strange too. l don't know why a dog needs booties and a cape. Just in case underdog has to fly over a mud puddle? Maybe it's to keep the attention on the dog and off their owners attire or lack there of.  I'll bet these same people think slippers are fashionable attire too. I don't get it.  It must be a family thing. I have seen their kids wearing slippers and pj bottoms walking into Starbucks. Hey! They can afford a fancy coffee.  Think about how much money they saved not buying real clothes. Just a thought, can you call not slip slippers, slippers?

My grandmother had an obsession with elastic bands. She had every size and color under the sun. She had her whole collection dangling from her wrist like a big rubber bangle. She must have thought that if someone needed one she'd be ready.  Is there a better conversation starter? Coming to the rescue of someone's untidy emergency.  You know what you need? Here's an elastic . Every morning she would wake up ready to collect her rubber treasures. She read the morning news not just for the obits but because it came with a free elastic band. Wow! Sometimes, she prayed for rain just so she could get a bonus plastic bag. Plastics and elastics. Well, good morning to me. Her quest continued. She must have thought, where else can I find elastic bands?  The grocery store was now an adventure.  I don't remember her being a fan of  broccoli, I think she bought it because it came with a hard to find small fat elastic band. A collectors item. She wasn't a fan of the flimsy el...